While the values and virtues of empathy are crucial, employees are still at work to do a job. There is a balance to be had between empathy and accountability, but when team leaders show empathy, it becomes easier for them to encourage accountability
I recently came across an example where a team leader showed empathy and compassion to a direct report whose dog had just died, allowing her to work at home for a couple of days. This did not prevent him from giving some constructive feedback on an issue she hadn’t handled well on her return to the office, but he believed that she took the feedback positively because he had previously shown empathy.
It is clearly a difficult line to walk, though. Many business leaders I have spoken with have expressed some concern about how far to go either way. If, say, they are too kind and empathetic, then their teams might not do everything they’re supposed to do. On the other hand, if they are too concerned about results, then they’ll lose the support of their teams.
The aftermath of the pandemic brought this need for balance into sharp focus. During this difficult time, many leaders were under pressure because they felt that they had to show they really cared. Their empathetic muscle was flexed more than usual when many of their staff struggled with all sorts of challenges. Now the pandemic is behind us, I’ve heard some business leaders saying that they believe they’re being taken advantage of. They now feel under pressure to continue to grant flexible work arrangements and are uncomfortable about complaints from team members if they’re told that they’ll have to work, say, three days a week in the office rather than two days. These leaders want to know, what are the boundaries? At what point do they need to be empathetic and at what point is it OK to put their foot down? How do they hold the team accountable to get the work done?
It’s a tricky situation and understanding and respecting where the team is coming from is still crucial but it doesn’t mean that those in charge have to put kindness first all the time. Tough decisions still need to be taken. Say, for example, there needs to be redundancies. The economic situation is tough, and it is impossible to maintain employee numbers at their present level. Making people redundant may seem particularly difficult in the aftermath of an event such as COVID-19, because bosses will inevitably think about all that employees have gone through over the last few years, but the business still needs to function. In this case, team leaders will need to ensure everything is fair in the dismissal process and the employees involved have adequate coaching have adequate coaching and feedback to help them overcome any obstacles they now face. In less final situations than redundancy, it is still important to be clear on boundaries and to make sure that everybody knows exactly what they’re supposed to be doing. A clarity of expectation will ensure every employee knows that they’re going to be held accountable. They will be given opportunities to ask questions, talk about things when they’re facing challenges and have an ongoing dialogue, but they also have an objective to reach at the end of each day. Leaders need to make it clear what the boundaries are and what things are non-negotiable.
When they have to take important decisions, team leaders may need to distance themselves from the emotions of the team under their control. They can show they are empathetic and understand the emotions involved, but also make it clear they have to make the decisions. This may mean stepping back, gathering information, and taking time to properly consider the circumstances. Leaders also need to look out for team members who are constantly negative and complaining because they can drain the energy of the whole team. In this case, it might be prudent for leaders to say they’ve listened to these team members and heard their point of view, but politely add that they don’t have time to listen to them all the time. This clearly sets how much time they can give to each team member. Not everyone will be happy about this, but leaders need to make such decisions to move forward.